ontd.

so it's 2:44 AM and i'm lying here in bed frickin' spooning knifing with my 27-year-old brother in a hotel in nyc.



notice how the knives are straight and do not at any point intersect.

sick bastards.

sis graduates from nyu at 10:30AM. no, we are not twins.

mom and dad are in the next bed over, snoring in unison. i've turned on my ipod in an attempt to drown them out. there's something more than a little unsettling about knifing with my brother while akon's "i wanna **** you" plays in the background. if i weren't so lazy, i'd jump out of bed and throw up a little.

damn you, uncensored version!

/shake fist

i have two final projects and a story to turn in before i can even think about celebrating my own graduation.

hmmm...it just struck me that maybe i still have two final projects and a story to get did because of the fact that i've already started celebrating?

whoaaa consequences!

joint graduation/joint bday (mom's and kuya's) bbq at our place coming up.

we're threatening to have those inflatable sumo wrestling suits and other things that perpetuate asian stereotypes.

karaoke????

in conclusion: i told kuya that if i wake up to his spooning me, i will straight up pop him in the face.

just kidding. i loves my family. have i said that lately?

little girls are evil

i'm not sure when, why, or how this idea originated, but i'm convinced that little girls are evil. i've thought this for a while and have been open about my hesitance toward my own uterus bearing demonic mini-me's. i might just pull an angelina and hand pick my own accessory boy child, if only to safeguard against evil little girls.

in an attempt to not write this final project required for graduation, i've compiled a short list of examples as to why i think little girls are evil:

5) Dolly Dearest -



ok, so technically Dolly Dearest is--well, she's doll--but whatevs. watching at age 7(?) any movie about the spirit of a devil child from the ancient devil-worshipping Sanzia tribe that takes over the body of a mass-produced child's doll is bound to fuck you up a little, yeah? and ok, so Dolly Dearest is a poor man's Chucky, but the fact remains that little girls are evil.

4) Angelica Pickles -

is that make-up and eyeliner? i smell teenage pregnancy and future homewrecker. you grew up too soon and never had a childhood because you were always taking care of your little cousins? mommy didn't have enough time for you? wah wah wah. suck it up and keep it closed you little scag.

3) Raven Baxter - you're not actually on the evil list because you're too grown. i think inherent to the definition of evil little girl is the fact that one still be a little girl. nevertheless, you're psychic and super powers of any kind = the win. so...really i'm just giving a shout out to that's so raven.

2) Sanjaya Malakar -




oops, honest mistake. my apologies...


and finally the #1 influential factor as to why little girls are evil:


1) because it's cute when they are.




so finals are coming up and then graduation. i expect a few months of unemployment to follow as well. naturally, that means mandatory procrastination updates.

ooohhh, yeaaaah.