to whom it may concern:

i went into the basement to use your computer and couldn't help but notice, that between the empty beer cans and stale plates of pizza, stood a half-used bottle of KY water-based lubricant.

having not yet touched the computer and accompanying keyboard, i found this discovery more than slightly amusing. admittedly, it was 2am and my need for a computer was not that pressing, so i decided i'd pass out on the couch and toss around accusations tomorrow.

wake up and complete my unfinished business re: computer usage. apparently, the same thought had crossed your mind since the ky bottle is now MIA.

moral dilemma: 1) confront or 2) dismiss.

i'm a jerk; i chose the former. of course, i'm also as graceful as a dead moose, and i approach with, "so...saw your lube by the computer last night. discuss."

you pull a clinton on me and deny, deny, deny but there's something in the way your facial facade cracks, and that half-smile/half-laugh contortion you try to hide alludes to a deep seeded shame.

be shamed!

or, you know, just own up to it and i'll promptly stop.

afterall, awkward moments are only fun when they make others uncomfortable.

holla.

you know you're a mess when:

you go to see the doctor for your TOE but come out with prescription codeine for viral bronchitis.

the directions say 2 teaspoons every 6 hours or as needed. lacking a teaspoon, i've guesstimated that 2 swigs straight from the bottle every 4 hours would suffice.

also, i had another point to make in this entry, but i can't seem to recall.