Friday, December 15, 2006

whoa consequences!

a) what constitutes a prostitute is the pursuit of profit.
b) i work for free.
c) i am not a prostitute.
d) i could still be a ho.

If A given B, then C.
Regardless of C, perhaps D?

logic games = the reason why i will never get around to applying to law school.

i'm dragging my feet on these finals, these papers, and this kind-of-a-big-deal decision i have to make for next semester (which actually has nothing to do with law school but everything to do with wordplay).

spring '07 is the last semester of my senior undergrad career.

career.

i wish that word would stop popping up so much, even if it is just in my own mind.

i keep asking grown ups for their opinions and advice. then i realized i was really asking my peers. when the hell did we transition into that category? i have a feeling like i've no control over anything. which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but more like feeling that what's going to happen is going to happen, and even though there's nothing i can do, i can at least try to enjoy the ride.

is this what growing up feels like? i assume it's reminiscent of how an inmate would feel when he drops the bar of soap -- an overwhelming urge to try to change your fate, but pessimistically thinking "would it really make a difference?" that's the worst feeling the world, isn't it? the paralyzing hopelessness one feels during those 2.3 seconds after the bar accidentally slips from your fingertips. before it hits the ground of the shower room all those should'ves, would'ves, what ifs and maybes cross your mind.

should have - used soap on a rope
what if - i had a loufa?
would'a - pumice stone help exfoliate my skin?

dear mr. inmate, don't be scared. accept your fate, grab on, and enjoy the ride...

do you find that comforting? should i?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

marie,
i'm reading this.
i'm in it.
i love you.
love, kat