* red line: there's a man who looks like he's in his early 30s eating a girl's face. she can't be any older than 15. i'm sitting near the door, and there's this see through glass barrier separating me from the pedophile. i accidentally catch myself making a face at them, looking as if i just threw up a little in my own mouth -- which i did. i contemplate a movie plot about zombies, and if i had a flame thrower, a really good action sequence would follow wherein i save the little girl from the
* gallery place green line xfer: this european guy is lost and doesn't know how to get to the yellow line. he asks me if he can follow me to the xfer. i jokingly say ok but he can't stand so close to me b/c he looks sketch (he was actually very good looking, but i like to be mean to hot people out of pure spite and jealousy). hot european guy and i talk a little and part ways at the xfer. he says, "thank you, i'd be lost without you," and i reply by offering him the chance to father my childrens...except i don't actually say that out loud.
* green line: it's crowded with all the umd kids from college park who came down to dc to party. they're probably calling it a night and heading back on the last train out to maryland, which sucks b/c it's only 2am. the metro should run later. two guys are doing pull-ups on the metro poles and flipping/somersaulting in an attempt to impress their lady friends. i'm not-so-secretly hoping one of them will fall and injure himself, or at least bruise his ego a little. one of the girls starts doing a runway model walk down the length of the metro car. if i had 3 wishes, i'd use one on getting the conductor to slam on the brakes at that very second. it would have been a wish well spent.
* college park stop: everyone leaves the metro. i look around and realize i'm the only one left. more zombie movie plots pop into my head, but i get scared and start humming probably the most relaxing/reassuring song ever recorded: smack that by akon.
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